My Metabolic Rate Is Stuck

My Metabolic Rate Is Stuck

Sunday, March 1, 2009

My Hubby, The Rock, sent this email to me....I thought it was interesting enough to post!


The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color..
Pumpkin i s also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball Or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1.. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

7 reactions to todays post:

Predo said...

Obviously written by a straight man. How can they not get it? Just for example, the seats are always down at our house, and no Ladies even live here. (we put both seats down, just in case some day the Pope or a Nun drops by.....)

Why was there no comment about the definition of foreplay?

Chere said...

Love this post. Maybe we should take some suggestions to heart. Well maybe not, what fun would there be in that.

Mental P Mama said...

I'm sorry, but I already have too much to do. Why don't you get off the couch and figure a few of these out for yourself, darling? Hmmm?

Unknown said...

I love that! I'd steal it, but I don't have a husband, and then I'd have to lie and say I did, and then lie again and say he wrote it...so I'll just read it again, and say "how funny"!

Mary Ellen said...

Thanks for the laugh. Of course, the reason it's funny is that it is so, so true.

Unknown said...

I am so glad my man does not blog or know how to use a computer...

Really funny though and make me laugh hysterically.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Too funny!